Escaping the Mind Trap

Last night I woke up at 4 am and the overthinking began

This happens more then I’d like to admit, but I figure I’m not alone in feeling wrapped in an abundance of thoughts all deemed to analyze any problem and come out with solutions.

Last night though and most nights I watch my mind and notice it doesn’t have solutions. If it does it often argues the solution and round and round the over analyzing goes. It feels like a trap.

Sometimes other people get involved in my head and there’s a discussion of over analyzing. Sometimes things get heated, emotional, and out of control. Then the mind wants to work harder to find an answer. It feels like a wild animal gnawing on a fresh kill determined to get to the bottom of it.

There are no solutions in this place, just further spiraling and over analyzing.

Sometimes when this happens I feel my body in the bed. I feel my kids arms draped over my chest or head smashed into mine. I settle into gratitude.

Other times when there is pain with people I love I repeat, “I release you and you release me from any pain we may have caused one another in this lifetime or in any other.”

I heard that saying back in high school when my emotional pain was deeply intertwined with my parents emotional pain and traumas. It all felt messy, impossible to solve, and it was its own silent hell. Saying

“I release you and you release me from any pain we may have caused one another in this lifetime or in any other”

Put space between our emotional bodies. It gave me immediate boundaries and protection from what was theirs to deal with. It helped me separate myself and feel how I couldn’t fix or help them. That wasn’t my job. It was my job to find peace inside of myself and I’d dedicate the rest of my life to that journey.

Love always,

Danielle Mallett