Permission to Pause: What Happens When Moms Finally Take a Break
This one is for anyone who needs permission to take a fucking break!
I have been mothering since my son was in my womb 6 years ago. The only time I spent away from him is when I spent 3 nights in the hospital giving birth to my daughter.
Over the past three years, I have been getting through dishes, cooking, cleaning, food prepping, and diapers by listening to “We Can Do Hard Things.” So when they said they were doing a live tour, I bought two tickets in the third row.
I had anxiety for weeks thinking of leaving my children. I had intrusive thoughts, I had fear, but more than all of that, I was excited to get away for 24 hours. To not be a mom for one night!!!!!!!
I did it.
I laughed.
I cried.
I talked endlessly with my close mom friend like we were in our twenties getting to know each other. Even though we’ve been friends for the past four years.
I felt young again.
I felt that old me return a bit.
I felt held in the massive Golden Gate Theater by hundreds of open-hearted humans.
When their talk began, they sat on the floor of the stage and talked about their trip to Arizona.
In Arizona, they sat in a courtroom and watched children, little kids whose feet dangled when seated in chairs, toddlers, little innocents put on headphones so the English would be translated for them.
Then these children were told they had to represent themselves. This is because our current administration has taken away the funds that offer these undocumented children legal representation.
The children kept asking to go to America because they believed America was a safe place for them.
Previous to this, I saw a reel on IG of this and thought it was a joke.
It’s not, it’s really happening.
Each of them described their fear response, flight, fright, and freeze.
Then, they did exactly what in my heart I knew they would do and what all leaders in positions of power have the ability to do.
They announced that all of the profits from their book tour and merch sales were going directly to organizations that are offering free legal aid to these children. This is that organization in Arizona.
They shared another organization to donate to called protect the children.
https://www.protectthechildren.org
They also are giving all the profits from merchandize sales to protect the children.
After hours of searching I found an incredible local organization called https://casaofmonterey.org and for three decades, they have stood alongside children and youth in foster care, ensuring they receive the care, education, healthcare, and therapeutic support they deserve.
Here's what I know about what's happening right now.
There are too many problems and not enough solutions.
I love We Can Do Hard Things because they are finding ways to be a part of the solution.
When we were young we'd see commercials of starving children and we could change the channel. Now it’s all in our faces or at least it’s in my algorithm and I need to be able to look my children in the eyes every day and say I did something, however small, I didn’t just stay quiet, ignore it, shut down, or run from it, which I have done plenty of times in the past.
If you don't have the means to give to these organizations that's okay too. Just spread the word about them so more people know. Maybe you'll share it with someone who has time to volunteer there or they will tell someone who has a lot of money to offer them.
Every little thing we each do individually adds up to a lot of love and support collectively.
If you want to hear more about what's happening to these children listen to the We Can Do Hard Things episode in this post https://getwellwithdanielle.substack.com/p/live-with-getwellwithdanielle-7b4
Love always,
Danielle Mallett
