I went to a Buddhist college
When other 19 year old
We were taking basic math, science, and English classes I was sitting on the floor in a circle practicing meditation, identifying the masks we wear, studying philosophies of embodiment, discovering eco and somatic psychology, yoga, and creative writing.
This might sound amazing to some people, and in ways it was, but in other ways it was traumatic. My breath, my body, my mind, none of it felt safe, welcome, or kind. Well maybe a small part felt kind, but that was mostly directed at others.
I was determined to get through school as fast as possible. I added in weekend workshops two full days of loving kindness meditation followed by a full weekend of Zen Christian meditation. All of this packed in around my 18 credits. Over summer I did the four week summer writing program and got to write with famous authors, listen to panels, and immerse myself in the literary world.
I wanted to be on the fast track to heal, to be free, to live embodied.
At first I could handle the discomfort.
I’d go home sleep for 12 hours, eat too much, and go back to school.
I’d leave little time to socialize and rest.
I found my rhythm.
Then trauma struck my family.
At the same time I was taking a class about bearing witness to suffering.
I became an open wound.
Crying all the time.
This is no way to live a life.
There is no room for life when everything feels too much.
When your heart feels responsible for the suffering of the world.
This is a torturous place to exist in.
Do we need to have open hearts?
Yes!
Do we need to bear witness to suffering?
Yes!
Do we also need to protect our wellbeing, our one precious life and mental health?
Yes!
Can self-compassion lead to peaceful action?
Ideally yes, but not if you are an open wound unable to function because you are aligned with the wound, with the destruction in life, when depression takes over and the chaos inside isn’t separate from the chaos around you.
I had to learn how to preserve my mental and physical health.
How to create a life where I take care of my body,
Be kind to myself.
Befriend my mind—that took decades.
I wasn’t shown how to do these things.
It took time to learn how.
Writing and movement help.
Lately I have been focused on how I can take action.
On what I can do in my immediate circle to support myself and others.
To focus not just on the destruction around and the preservation of my life, but also on creating more opportunities to connect.
We all deserve to feel all of these, not just the wreckage.
Not just the mess.
Not just the hard.
Not just the broken.
Also not just the creation,
not just the fun,
not just the positivity,
not just the joy.
Not just self care and preservation for one self.
Life is all of these.
This is the meaning of Om.
Creation~Preservation~Destruction
There is time and space for all of it.
Since it’s creative Friday’s use this as a writing prompt.
Are you leaning into creation?
Feeling the weight or liberation of destruction?
Is preservation your focus?
Write about it.
Brainstorm ways to bring more creation, preservation, or destruction into your life.
Sometimes you have to burn some things down to make room for creation.
What season are you in?
Or use the idea of creation, preservation, and destruction as a way to build characters or worlds.
You can create an entire new world or destroy what we know and understand in this world.
You can do the same with a character.
What season are they in?
In general, staring a story in the midst of chaos is a powerful intro that will pull readers in.
Bonus—you can also use this as a way to connect to your body.
Practice chanting Om with the three parts.
Ahhh starts at the base of the spine
Ooohhhh moves into the heart and chest
Mmmm travels to the throat and head
Let your mouth open all the way
Let the sound radiate around you
Let the vibration move through you.
Happy chanting 💜
Want me to make a video chanting Om?
