Goodbye, Cynical Cindy
Lemons Roll
I read this poem by Lin and was reminded of this old poem I used to perform at slam poetry nights. I miss those nights.
*** This is a letter to Cynical Cindy, the cynical bitch that lives inside my head.
Dear Cynical Cindy,
You’re the best cheerleader I could have ever asked for.
When life threw me lemons, you were there, reminding me that I deserved to be hit by them, after all, I was the one walking toward every lemon with free will.
And at every obstacle, I could count on you to kindly remind me I was making the biggest mistake of my life.
Your reliability is what’s kept us together for so long. You were there when I spent endless hours preparing my blog to be released; telling me it was pointless to write it, you were there when I made the decision to move to Minnesota in the winter, convincing me it would be an adventure, to find myself.
At the time, I thought you were looking out for me, and I needed to stay attached to you. It’s okay; we were equally possessive with each other.
But now I’ve made it through 2016, I moved five times, never really knowing where I was going, all the while obeying your skeptical remarks, and I can no longer take your daily reminders of how disillusioned I am for believing I can survive on my own in this world.
That is a basic human right, Cindy!
Now I’ve spent 14 years listening to the negative worldview you so graciously share, and I want you to know that it’s taught me a lot.
Mostly, I’ve learned it’s exhausting having you around. Nobody wants to be with you, except me. And in keeping you here, I’m losing the motivation to breathe and grow.
It won’t be easy. Mostly because you are my closest friend, and I’ve learned to lean on you for everything.
But it’s time we say, “Goodbye.”
Here are some things you will miss out on in 2026: I’m going to publish Mom Life Be Like… (which you can get at getwellwithdanielle.com)
They will be good enough.
Not for you,
But for me,
They will be good enough.
Then I will tour them around with my bestie from preschool, we will hula hoop and dance under the sun like we did as children, bc why the fuck not?
You will see me latch onto a reality that believes in miracles and accepts imperfections.
This will make you angry, and you’ll tell yourself I’m ungrateful
and not to be trusted.
You’ll doubt all my successes and continue to point out all my failures.
And I will thank you anyway
because, for the past four years,
you’ve been my closest companion.
Goodbye Cindy!
